“All our knowledge has its origins in our perceptions.” – Leonardo da Vinci
   “There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead, mostly dead is slightly alive.”                                       – Miracle Max from The Princess Bride
                     “When that fog horn blows, You know I will be coming home.” – Into the                                                                                                                                  mystic by Van Morrison

What we are looking for in the world outside of us is a dominating force in our reality because it colors the lens we perceive life experiences from, and draw upon to narrate our inner story. Who we are, is who we tell ourselves we are. Who are we looking to, to tell us who we are? Are we looking for the best in others? If yes, it could mean we’re looking for the best in ourselves. When we are challenged with an obstacle, some might choose to see it as divine intervention creating a new perspective of life, while others choose another possibility. Giving ourselves permission to be our best self and allow our confidence to be the star of our own show shrinks the fear in the narration because it silences the shadow projected by the wicked villain. This week gave way to a new level of awareness because this process has created a new growth, now it’s time to reap the rewards of hard work by way of perceiving the growth through light instead of looking at the growth through shadow. Sounds simple, yet that’s the very change that’s taken place within; seeing the glass half full instead of the reverse. I’m seeing the show from the star’s point of view instead of the villain of fear. Instead of running back into the cave of denial, we are receiving the new prism of thought; we are receiving our confidence, receiving the best in ourselves and as a family.

What struck me this week occurred while talking to my 3 year old about how much I love her. I (unconsciously) pointed to my heart and as she was expressing that she is no longer a baby, I held the space for her to know that I will love her just the same as a little girl and as a young woman. I pointed to my heart when I spoke, and my 3 year old says to me, “But I can’t fit in there.” I smile. To my 3 year old I say out loud, “Oh yes you will fit in there (I point to my heart) because mommy’s heart grows.”

A receiving open figurative heart must grow as well as the mind to receive the new. We have to drop the cement layers that create the mask because the mask blocks the way to the heart. The mask is a compilation of fear. I understand we have to get out of our own way to let love in. The truth is, is I am worthy, I am good and I show up as my best self as an instrument with a purpose. A person can gain financial wealth, but all the knowledge in the world won’t fit into a heart that hasn’t grown too. In fact, the imbalance of a false ego and a closed heart could cause a person to stumble, lose sight of their vision and get lost in ego. The new growth as a result of Master Keys combined with the space and love held in my irreplaceable mastermind alliances (Pam, Care’n and Larry) is operating in my scepter of consciousness. Fertile soil lends to nutrient dense food. We can’t logically think that we can grow mentally without also growing in the heart and expect a lasting change. And we can’t possibly believe that a vine grows healthfully and balanced without the love of the sun.

So many good things have been happening lately, I was a bit numb this week. I did not know how to feel and I was ok admitting that (humility and honesty with self). It was after the awareness of being comfortable in uncomfortable (this is where the sabotage would have taken stage in the past) that the villain character was written into the background of my life’s script. Then I started to feel ignited, ok, excited for the next chapter. It’s ok to not know how to feel. The recent added layer of self-acceptance from the last couple of weeks created a platform to realize this: I have been guided to that place we all want to go; home. The place, our hearts, is a place some of us may have unconsciously abandoned to avoid pain is where one must return. Yes, home truly is where the heart is. Home is safe and the heart is where the dreams rise up. Growing mind and heart must go hand in hand. Being that we all know God is love, well then I couldn’t possibly be where I am today without God. The mind must give way to the heart, the authentic voice lives in the heart. If the mind silences the heart we will be in conflict with ourselves. Granted, if a wicked desire enters the heart we have a different problem, certainly we see the effects of that today.

Shall I cast my faith in a loving creator to the wind? I think not. As I started to write earlier this week I could see a crow on my oak tree, twig in beak looking for another branch of the tree. There she goes, she leaps onto another branch, same tree….yet there she goes again, the crow this time is taking flight into the air. True story…and as I think of that glorious creature fading into the distant sky I think of the Allegory of the Cave I studied for an entire Summer Session at UC Davis many years ago. Of course it’s real life here, the shadow play that brings to light the truth of who I am again and again. The question is, am I moving upwards? Is my heart soaring?

If we don’t do anything to mess up the growth by destroying it or sabotaging, a new person emerges and we say hello from our heart. I receive you; I accept you and I have more space for more growth to continue receiving you.

As we near the end of this 26 week journey I can’t help but wonder what’s next? When class time has ended, might our present moment awareness shift towards a shadow or the light? We’ve learned of the intellectuals, and the masters …..yet the place I am learning most is by the hand of others that cast their perception onto me (their world ‘without’) with action and wherein despite the appealing luring comfort of the bell jar to receive that impression, I, in an act of faith say no thank you and leap forward into the abyss of becoming. I risk rejection, and yet, who catches me? Humankind or God? God. Always, God.

Maybe transformation begins at the moment of courage, in the moment we risk what we were, to become who we truly are….we cannot find ourselves in people. We find ourselves in the moments where we do not have a template or imprint to see….yet we light a match and leap in faith. Who we are lurks in the shadows until we reach for what is wanted, what is possible…

              “Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel.” – Socrates